Heat (Russo Saga Book 1) by Nicolina Martin

Author:Nicolina Martin [Martin, Nicolina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781612589961
Publisher: Blushing Books Publications
Published: 2019-03-26T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

Nathan

I haven’t been to my rented apartment since yesterday morning. Work, then Sydney, then work has kept me from it. I didn’t really mind the Sydney part of that at all. Tension ripples through me as I think of how she molded herself to me, like clay in my hands. She’s not experienced, but I like her innocence, and I can’t wait to take all of it from her.

My chest still aches, the girl falling to the raw concrete floor, a pool of blood spreading around her head, her long dark hair a mess, never to be combed shiny again. It all plays on repeat. This is the life I live. This is the life I was born into.

I witnessed my father get shot by a rival gang over some business deal. His lifeless body on the sidewalk, when any help was too late, when he’d never walk, crack his silly jokes, or dance again. He was such a powerful man, larger than life, but no one is tougher than a bullet through the brain. I never knew death before that. It was abstract, just a word. A few months later I knew more of death than I had ever wished. Mama Russo sent her sons out on a warpath, and we did our job. I shot my first man when I was twelve. I looked him in the eyes, saw his last moments of true fear, and pulled the trigger. I watched as the light went out. Then I vomited. But I felt no remorse. He tore my father from five kids. Dad believed firmly in the belt, he wasn’t an easy man to please, but he also had great humor, and he made Mom laugh. She never laughed again after his death.

My life has been one long walk in the shadows after that. Despite all my money, my apartments and houses, I’m still that twelve-year-old boy who lost both his father and his mother on a hot afternoon in June back in 1990. I never forgave the world. I loathe my mom. I’m fiercely loyal to my brothers and my sister. But I have no attachments and I’ve stayed far away from ever letting anyone close, letting a woman close.

Until now. I still don’t know what I want with her. I shouldn’t want anything, but I itch to explore this connection I feel.

The air is stale, and I open the double doors to the balcony. I’ve kept track of the feed from the surveillance I installed, and no one has been here while I was away. I go through the motions while the girl keeps gnawing on the edges of my consciousness. She was an innocent. I couldn’t have let her go, but I should have shot her on the lawn. I only did her a disservice. If anyone was cruel today, it was me. I rub my face and stare at my image in the bathroom mirror. I’m too old for this shit. I’ve done my part in this life.

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